Official Dress Code For All Females In Public...
smilingemoticon: all shirts can only have pictures of Michael Jordan in his Space Jam uniform sleeves must be long enough that people are convinced that you are a ghost all pants can only have seven pockets. only seven. no more no less your shoes must have at least one picture of a meme on them always carry a boombox with you blasting out the Jimmy Neutron theme song repeatedly until you...
Irrational Games Sex Tip #121
bioshck: Lay down your partner gently, gently caress their skin, trace every inch of their body with your finger tips, and slowly make love to them. When they’re about to orgasm, stop, lean in close and whisper “There ain’t no ‘Atlas’, kid, never was” in a Bronx accent, climb off of them, and leave.
thefirstgentleman: casual reminder that for every person who doesn’t want to label their sexuality theres another person who prefers the tangibility of a word and both are ok
emberjay: gaytarosrevenge: no but seriously, fuck microsoft, fuck ea, fuck sony, and to a lesser extent fuck nintendo i just want fucking video games no gimmicks no social media no FUCKING TELEVISION just fucking VIDEO GAAAAAAAAAAAAAMES WHY DO GAMING COMPANIES NOT GET THIS. WHY
ferelden: do you ever hear the intro theme to a video game and you get really emotional and your heart feels really weak like it’s coming back home and it’s basically like that whole world you love so much summed up into one epic song and you just want to fucking cry a lot because this is the video game for you and nothing else ever can even compare to the feeling you get when you hear that one...
idasida19: darkdragonn: ONCE I ABOVE THE AND CONFUSION I understood that reference and I am not even in that fandom
axto: aleetlepinch: I’m so sick of people thinking they can just waltz into my room when I’m obviously listening to music in 4/4. I just wanted to reblog this again because I find it inordinately funny.
I pissed off some teen age kid at a table I was...
Me: I'm sorry, I'll be back with the right plate
*as I turn to walk away*
Him: *talking to his friends* he's probably a homo, he's too distraught.
*i turn back to the table*
Me: you know, you shouldn't talk about the dude who's about to serve your food, right beside him. Also, learn the definition of homo, it's a root word that means, "man" in which yes I am a man, more of one than you will ever dream to be. So if you're intentions were referring to me being a homoSEXUAL as in MAN-sexual, which I am, then use a correct form of it. Now, sit there little boy, while this gay man goes to get your food for you.
*i leave and come back*
Me: here's your AIDs stuffed burrito you ordered.
His friends tipped me $20
theshirelock: does anyone know if there’s a people-banishing sigil out there because i have a mighty need for one
childishnotions: writing is safer, somehow because my pen cannot stutter like my lips do, and words get stuck in throats, not fingertips, can’t stumble on paper trails of blue lines because writing is definite and clear and no one can tell if i am crying or laughing through written words alone
moonupabove: askinnyblackman: elloelen: theprettygoodgatsby: piffsburg: Females: I want equal rights. Females: You can’t hit me I’m a female. Females: I want equal rights and i don’t want you to hit me because I am a human being and I don’t like being hit Even if they throw the first punch? how about no one hits anyone because hitting people is wrong #god damn we learned this...
tacotheshark: my favorite moment in supernatural “I BID….MY OWN SOUL” “mr. crowley, you don’t have a soul.”
*Wakes up in the middle of the night*
Me: Please don't be 6am
Me: MERRY FUCKING CHRISTMAS TO ME!
*Shoves face back into pillow*
fezzingly: I feel like a rare breed of human female who does not feel attracted to Channing Tatum at all
themasterslover: geardway: THE BIBLE SAYS ADAM & EVE, NOT ADAM STAYS IN HELL FOREVER i was waiting for someone to make this for i have no idea how long
thebookofthebraindead: Mythbusters is such a good show I mean it’s GLORIFYING SCIENCE AND CURIOSITY AND SHOWCASING HOW FUCKING COOL LIFE IS AND TESTING THINGS YOU TAKE AS TRUE AND TREATING EVERYTHING AS A CHALLENGE THAT CAN BE SOLVED IF YOU TRY HARD ENOUGH AND APPLY YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND THEY ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT THEIR JOBS AND THEY INJECT HUMOUR INTO IT AND EXPLAIN ALL OF THE SCIENCE THEY DO like...
hellovalkyrie: kgibbers: hellovalkyrie: I feel like I should go play dragon age …I’m going to go play dragon age. YEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Also: help, I’ve been taken by the minecraft addiction! I can’t get out! I finally have my archer rogue, I don’t know why i didn’t do it before And to help your mine craft addiction, you should get like.. Tomb Raider. Yeah....